Lauren received 245 messages in that one-week period.
“Even if an amazingly attractive girl said something stupid in their profile, she’ll still get messages,” she says.
“So I feel like I’m intelligent and people think I look good, so I guess it’s as simple as that?
” It doesn’t hurt that Lauren, after getting out of a four-year relationship with a “pathological liar” who had a drug problem, isn’t necessarily looking for anything serious.
So, in OKCupid’s searchable “I’m looking for …” section, she, like most women, selected “long-term dating,” “short-term dating,” and “new friends.” Unlike most women, she also selected “casual sex,” figuring she might as well tell the truth.
“At first, I thought if you listed ‘casual sex,’ guys would realize that even though I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, we can still go out, get drinks,” she says, but it triggered a vulgar explosion of come-ons. But they don’t get that.” The attention, she admits, has been flattering—an ego boost after a rough breakup.
She also confesses that she was “never the pretty girl” growing up and appreciates being in the position to approve or ignore other people.But the onslaught of crass emails has been so exhausting that she began collecting the worst messages at her Tumblr, theyreallysaidthis.She guesses that about 20 percent of respondents have been older than 40, including married men asking her to be a mistress.At a quiet table in a dimly lit Lower East Side Italian restaurant, Lauren Urasek, a poised 23-year-old makeup artist with a Cleopatra haircut and cherry-red lipstick, is lit by the glow of her i Phone as she flips through online-dating messages. You’re like the girl I would make a profile of if I was making my ideal match. not usually into girls with tats but ur sexy we should chill i got a huge cock … In New York, online dating is practically a municipal utility, connecting millions of strangers.I think I literally said out loud, “Yes, you.” “That’s kind of normal,” she says, sipping a bourbon on the rocks. To find out how some people manage to stand apart from the masses, and how it feels to be so desired, I asked Rudder to introduce me to the most popular OKCupid daters in the city in four categories—straight and gay women and straight and gay men. “I get so many of those …” I would swim the Amazon upstream with an airtank filled with Rosie O’Donnell’s queefs … “Seventy percent of the messages are straight-up blunt, vulgar shit. you need to not approach it that way.” On the free online-dating site OKCupid, Lauren is known as nebulaeandstuff: 23. I found her after a conversation with OKCupid co-founder Christian Rudder, who famously crunched the site’s user data on the blog OKTrends and sold a book based on it, Dataclysm, for seven figures.