Learn to be assertive and direct with your needs and feelings. Don’t bail out of a dating relationship at the first sign of trouble.
Relationships take hard work and conflict is actually a necessary precursor to deeper connection and intimacy.
Assess what’s missing and what the barriers are and determine if negotiation is possible.
Without training, education, and support, many gay men are forced to “wing it” as they mingle and mate with other men, leaving many of them unsatisfied with their dating experiences and wondering if they’ll ever find a loving partner to settle down with. Creating a full life puts you in charge of your own happiness and puts less emphasis and dependency on finding a relationship to make you whole.
What follows is a tips list of things for gay men to keep in mind as they go about meeting other men in pursuit of their Mr. Add your own to the list and keep it handy as a quick-reference guide as you embark upon your dating adventures to promote greater success in your romantic life. You must be whole as a person first before a healthy relationship can be cultivated. Know who you are, what your needs and values are, and what you stand for.
By developing yourself, those internal feelings of zest and fulfillment will show on the outside as well. This will take you far as you delve through the dating world.
Having a clear vision and purpose will help to keep you centered and grounded on your quest. Examine your relationship history and determine what behaviors worked for you and which ones didn’t. While that “chemical spark” is important, a person’s enduring qualities are what really help to lay the foundation for potential long-term relationship success. Determine if you are really ready for a relationship and assess your true motives.
Identify the obstacles that prevent you from engaging in the kinds of relationships that you want. One of the biggest relationship “sabotagers” is not being able to be fully present, being distracted by other needs or issues, and having other priorities that compete with the relationship.
Determine if you are “dateable” and develop goals to accomplish true relationship readiness.Develop your self-esteem and create a vision for how you’d like your life to be. Don’t stay in a dating relationship that’s not working just for the sake of staving off loneliness or fearing hurting the other’s feelings.This only robs both of you of precious time that could be better served improving your quality of life in new directions.One of the developmental tasks of all adolescents is to establish productive relationships with their peer group and to understand and manage their sexuality.Dating provides fertile training ground for these teens for learning about themselves and how to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships as they continue to mature and grow.Due to growing up in a homophobic society, most gay men as teenagers had to keep their sexualities hidden for fear of social backlash and further damage to their already shaky self-images.