For example, is the motive to get closer to him without her present or knowing?“Keeping the mind-set of ‘I won’t communicate in such a way that I wouldn’t if she were present’ can help with keeping communication acceptable,” says Mills.Those ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ you’re making on a friend’s ex- or current boyfriend’s social media posts aren’t so harmless either.
“If you’re both interested in the same man, it’s better to discuss it to see who might have the stronger feelings,” adds Barnes.
Just don’t turn the dating game into a competition between you and your friend, as it only adds an element of comparison and disconnect between you.
When it comes to digital communication, Greenberg advises friends to never engage in virtual conversation with a friend’s ex, current, or potential boyfriend—including texting.
“When people are sending messages electronically, they can easily become more sexual and aggressive because they stay anonymous,” she says.
Not to mention, you’re going behind your girlfriend’s back.
These seemingly innocent texts can get misinterpreted as interest the more you interact.
If that sounds Draconian, you might want to take a step back and evaluate why you’re reaching out in the first place.
“Ask yourself what the purpose would be to not include your friend in the dialogue,” says Melanie Ross Mills, relationship expert and author of .
Girl code: It’s that golden rule that girlfriends stay away from a friend’s ex, boyfriend, or other current love interest.
No matter how old you are, how long ago a relationship took place, or how deep it was—or is—it’s inherently understood that you should follow these unspoken guidelines if you care to keep your BFFs.
But with the dating scene changing in terms of how we meet and communicate, many are using multiple dating sites and going out with several prospects at once in an effort to find their ideal matches—which presents some interesting challenges to the old-school girl code.