I don’t think you actually know just how awful dating is these days. Maybe, you’re actually single and you’re currently out there too, with me, in the wild, of online dating.
You’re out there in the trenches of tinder, bumble, okcupid and match.com, and living, and experiencing the same awfulness I am. But if you’re currently in a relationship, and you have been for a while, I don’t think you know. I mean I try and effectively articulate the struggles of dating in 2015, but me no good writer, me no think me articulate just how awful it really is “now a days”.
I’m only saying how awful it is “now a days”, comparatively to how it used to be.
When I started online dating 9 years ago, things were different. That’s really, slightly, deflating, for me to actually type that out.
Yeah, I started online dating nine, fucking, years ago. BUT, I will say, when I started online 9 years ago, it was admittedly, a bit absurd. I mean, I was 23, right out of college, moved to a new city where I didn’t know a soul, and was doing online dating because “I don’t want to die old and alone, LOL”.
And I knew that it’s ridiculous for a 23 year old to actually be concerned about dying old and alone at 23. That’s why there was always an “LOL” after I mentioned to people I was doing online dating in my new city of San Diego. But my outlook of dating has become more and more jaded of online dating over the years.
Now, now at the age of 32, I’m doing online dating because “I don’t want to die old and alone, LOL”, it’s the same, but a slightly different “LOL”. And believe it or not, it’s not because I’m getting older and still single. My outlook of dating online is increasingly becoming more and more jaded, each and every day, because the process, systems and methodology of online dating itself is becoming worse and worse. I just moved to San Deigo for a job out of college. CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE IF I CALLED A GIRL IMMEDIATELY AFTER SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER TODAY?
It seems to be okay now, to basically just “not reply”, and that’s not the universal code for “naaaaaaaaah”.
And as I say this, people are reading this, and they’re saying “But Steven, that’s just how it works, get over it.”, and you’re right, it is.
And I am over it, and I understand that’s how it works, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
AND I will be the first to say, I am 100 percent guilty of this too.
I was SUPER hesitant about doing online dating because of the stigma, at the time, of online dating. I was new to San Diego, didn’t know anyone, and thought WHY NOT. Fast forward to 2 months after I moved to San Diego, I was messaging with this girl on Plenty of Fish, she gave me her number, and asked me to call her so we could have a conversation on the phone first. HOW ABOUT IF I OFFERED TO PICK HER UP FOR THE DATE? Females, appropriately so, should be hesitant and error on the side of caution/safety when meeting guys online.
The perception of online dating at that time, was that it was for losers who couldn’t find people in real life. I know it’s hard to believe now, because people sign up for 3 stupid dating apps a day, but back in 2006, it was like “Are you seriously doing online dating? Had a great conversation, we coordinated a date for the next week, and I offered to pick her up, to which she accepted. No, because she would probably think I’m a serial killer who wants to isolate her and chop her up into a million pieces. I miss the days when it was okay for me to call a girl before the first date, where I could offer to pick her up, and take her to a nice place for dinner.
And I get it, that’s just the way of the world today. Girls want to text you from their google voice number and they only want to initially meet you at starbucks for 13 minutes, as they park far away so you can’t follow them to their car. Now when I tell people I offer to take girls to dinner for the first date, they look at me like I just said I don’t understand the coffee date. I need to adapt to this throw away culture of dating.